This is one of those thoughts I’ve been sitting on for a while.

I see a lot of posts about people feeling like they’re their parents’ investment. Sent to school, raised, and then expected to give back financially once they start earning. It’s a sensitive topic, because not all families are built the same way.

But something recently brought it back to me.

Someone I know, who travels a lot, was asked why he keeps doing it. And he said his parents never asked him for anything. Whatever he earned, it was his. So he earns to travel. Pretty much… he travels because he can and while he still can.

And that made me think of my own parents.

Back in college, my Ate and I were scholars with stipends. We had allowances. And for some reason, even without being asked, we found joy in giving a portion of it to our parents. Not because we had to. Just because we wanted to.

We weren’t poor. We weren’t rich either. We had enough.

Even after we graduated and were already working, my parents never asked us for anything. Even when we were still living with them. So we found ways to help. Covering small expenses, helping with our younger siblings, things like that. And it always felt… good. Not forced. Not expected.

Later on, when I started my own family, my mom got sick. She needed dialysis three times a week. Back then, each session was around 3,500 to 4,000, not including medicines. The expenses added up quickly.

My Ate, who was already in the US, would regularly send money for her medications. I did what I could too. Not as much, but enough to help.

One time, I sent money that could cover a week's worth of dialysis sessions and some. My dad thanked me. But when I got home that weekend, my mom said something that stayed with me.

“Thank you sa bigay mo. Pero wag ka na basta basta magbibigay sa akin. May asawa ka na. Ang pera mo, pera na din ni Jay. Gaya ng pera nya, pera mo na din. Kung bibigyan mo ako, dapat alam nya muna at okay sa kanya.”

My mom loved Jay. They were close. And I know he wouldn’t have minded.

But that moment… that mindset… that kind of upbringing. It’s something I will always be grateful for. My parents never made us feel like we owed them. And because of that, giving never felt like a burden. It felt like love.

And I guess that’s what stayed with me from that conversation.

Different stories, different lives… but the same kind of parents.

It’s sad that for some, money becomes the reason relationships break. Thank God it never became that for us.

When giving is not demanded, it becomes something you want to do. And somehow, that makes all the difference.