April is ending.

This was my birthday month.

And I noticed something. The greetings this year were far less than previous years. At first, I didn’t know what to make of it. But maybe it’s just that over time, you lose people. Some literally. Some just… along the way. People you outgrow, or people who outgrow you.

And what’s left are the ones who stay.

The ones who didn’t need Facebook to remind them. The ones who reached out in their own way. The ones who, in their birthday greetings, somehow managed to say things that sounded like eulogies. And I mean that in the best way. Because really, if people only say the nicest things about you when you’re gone, you won’t even get to hear them.

So I’m grateful I got to hear them now.

I’m grateful for family. For my siblings, especially. We don’t spend as much time together as before, and that’s okay. Back then, being together all the time also meant a lot of bickering. But now, it’s different. Weekend video calls, random updates, teasing each other about K-pop… in some way, it made us closer.

I’m grateful for my husband and my kids. I don’t know how to explain it, but I feel like I must have done something right. Seeing them grow, seeing them do well, seeing them become who they are… even my husband, yes 😅 there’s a quiet kind of fulfillment in that.

I’m grateful for the lessons too.

Like realizing that no matter how good you are, it’s not a guarantee that people will let you into their lives. And that’s okay. I actually had this conversation with my daughter recently, and I’m glad I went through it myself. It made it easier to explain.

I’m learning to accept the things I can’t control. The world feels heavier these days. Things happening far away somehow still reach us. You realize how small we are in the bigger picture, and how little control we really have.

So I hold on to what I can.

My family’s health. Not perfect, but we’re here. Still standing. Still showing up for each other.

And maybe that’s enough.

As this month ends, I don’t think I’m looking for anything big. Just more days like this. Quiet, steady, meaningful.

Fewer people. Deeper connections. A quieter kind of fullness.

And somehow, still singing along when Justin Timberlake goes… it’s gonna be May.